If it wasn’t for Saturday afternoons, would I ever find the time to shitpost on the internet?
On a scale of Drunk to Drunk enough to fuck your mum, I’m already balls deep in your aunt.
My drunk posting on tumblr reminds me distinctly of Jaden Smith’s Twitter and that scares me.
I feel like none of you appreciate space on the same level as I do.
Joe Hockey? More like Hoe Jockey am I right ladies?
I went to get coffee with this girl a couple days ago. It was my first day off in 10 days, so naturally i was a little high, a little drunk, and just generally excited to get up to some ridiculous shenanigans. Turned out she hated smokers, didn’t drink, and at one point gave me a 10 minute lecture about how all drugs are bad.
Today she sent me a text saying that she wished me all the best, but that “our personalities didn’t really mesh”. Like, hun…
You don’t even know.